expect the unexpected

And so the mania continues…maybe that is why I am desperately seeking stability. My volatile ways are too much to handle without the consistency of mundane routines.

Are you afraid of change? Am I afraid of change?

I think I have a good thing going…now all I have to do is fail to mess it up.

As the seasons turn

Sometimes I feel like I was transplanted into an alternate life all while I was sleeping and thus I am completely unaware of my current surroundings. Does that ever happen to you? There is this slight moment, where all of a sudden you feel completely lost. You instantly have no idea how you got where you are and why you are in your current position?

The leaves are changing with the season; beautiful hues of greens and yellows and oranges and reds and even purples are visible in contrast with the vibrant blue of the sky. I want to get lost in the nature that encompasses me. I run each morning, exploring the earth upon which I live. And each day I am surprised by some wonderful little miracle of the planet. These little miracles make every day that much more amazing. Running allows me to value the depth of my surroundings.

The changes of the seasons have brought confusion with them. The coldness is present one day, followed by a day of warmth, and then again it returns to just above bearable levels. Who knows what the next day will bring?

I am looking for consistency; or some kind of decipherable pattern. And at the same time I need the little surprises to keep me on my toes. How do I find the balance? Am I confused about what I want? Or am I too sure?

Positive Energy Beginnings

The story of my life... infinite energy in at the outset, unlimited thoughts of opportunities swimming through my mind, the mania of endorphins racing through my body, positive energy in every direction. That is the beginning of each and every day, each and every fresh idea. Then reality starts to pile on top of my shoulders. Eventually I am weighed down with millions of minute details holding me back, so many little entities to consider that I am ultimately unable to move forward.

Then I wait for a new day and a new idea so that the sun can be shining again.

My most recent burst of sun shine has been a wonderful surprise. Friends who truly care can keep my positive energy alive for increasing amounts of time.

So for now the sun is shining brightly and the stars are twinkling, as our adventure begins...